Wednesday 25 June 2014

The New 'F' Word

We have been having this ongoing debate in a Whattsapp group dutifully named The Awesome Foursome. The debate always centers around the forcefully and rather emotionally charged use of the word 'fat'. I am talking the obese kind not the cool kind.


The conversation starts:

Me: OMG, she got fat
Friend 1: Why are you commenting on her body weight?
Friend 2: because she has?
Friend 3: LOL
Friend 1: maybe there is something else happening, you shouldn't judge her on her weight.


Now, I'll stop there, because reader you will lose faith in me as the post goes on. I have always championed women and the right to say what happens to their bodies, I am pro choice for abortion, because I feel, as women we reserve the right to know the limits of our emotional stability and physical well-being. I also feel that marriage isn't for everyone; that women can earn more than men, that women should have a life outside their significant others, and love is different for everyone: for some it's the simple breath of knowing someone is there at night, and others it's the constant reassurance.

I am not saying men have no place in our lives, far from it, they are the most undeniably interesting creatures I have met; the short, the stubby, the dumb, and the smart - it's fantastic. Yeah, ok, some of them haven't been the most diligent when it came to my feelings, but eh, nothing a good kick to the balls can't fix.

The world of women and the view of their bodies is as complex as chemical engineering; society has programmed us to gravitate to smaller and thinner, in all aspects, food portions included. However, I am not of the view that women should be judged on their bodies, but they should be judged on how they treat their bodies and the way they present themselves.

I am going to cause a hellish raucous chant here now. I commented on her weight because there is definitely something deeper going on. As a strong gender, we as women should have enough power to treat ourselves with respect; we certainly make a big hoo-ha when we want it from others?

I am probably talking from a corner that has just been deserted, but hear me out. I spent the greater half of three years demanding the respect I deserved from men, my family, my job; it wasn't until I demanded the same standard from myself that I found the groove.

So what was my thought process behind the fat comment? 
Sure, OK, I was grumpy, probably had a bad run, or the guy didn't call, sure, I could have said it better nicer. But she had got fat? Having been fatter, and uglier, I deserve the right to use the word that was thrown at me on a playground. Perhaps I shouldn't use it to describe others, and for that I apologise, women could do with less bashing each day. But why hasn't she said to herself: Why is this happening? I need to take control? Give myself the chance to be better? Eat cleaner?

Fat shouldn't describe the weight on her hips, it should be the word used for the lack of respect she has for her body. Health implications aside, because we all know where that leads. It also boils down to the way we shun from the word fat; we brag about "Last night I got so drunk" but never once have I heard around the office "I was so off my face on Cadburys bubbly last night"? Are we ashamed? Are we scared people will call us fat?  I am going to be brash here, but if you have to ask the question 'Do these pants make me look fat?' then you have your answer.  No, self respecting woman allows people to call her fat, she has done it herself, fully embodies it, and does something about it?

It was Caitlin Moran who said in How to be a Woman:
'I can't help but notice that in a society obsessed with fat – so eager in the appellation, so vocal in its disapproval – the only people who aren't talking about it are the only people whose business it really is’.

Why aren't we talking or shouting the word fat? Huh? Ladies... Why do we allow blame to be pointed at the food industry, the magazines, or at men? Perhaps a good run and a lettuce leaf is needed. Insecurity turns to blame. 
Take it from someone who has been there, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, I mean the good, strong, healthy skinny that wipes your brow and proves how hard you got to work for it. 

Be a fat bitch, be it on your own terms.


0 comments:

Post a Comment

 

Blog Template by BloggerCandy.com